Exercise Sucks

I did a scary thing today....... I joined a gym. gasp. I know. It was horrifying! 

First let me just say that I pretty much HATE to exercise. Even when I was thinner, I never found it enjoyable. I would roll my eyes at any mention of runners high and pretty much only ran if someone were chasing me. Other than sex, I'm pretty much against any activity that involves sweating.

Joining the gym today was a big deal. I'm kind of married to Golds now. Well, only for a year and I have to pay them but still, it's a big commitment. I realize now that if I'm ever going to maintain my health and live longer than 27, I just have to exercise. And it seems like a lot of the other people there, realize they have to as well. 

I was nervous even walking in with my work out pants and clearly unfit physique. Flashbacks of PE started flooding my brain. I was sweating before I even started. All I could think of were the girls in high school with their perfect bodies, jogging effortlessly and with happiness. What I saw and what I expected to see were complete opposites. Everyone looked normal. Men and woman of all age ranges and body types were floating around looking for ways to better themselves. No one was staring, trying to find a date, or even paying attention to anyone else. It was eye opening. Even the woman next to me was making business calls while spinning her legs on the recumbent bike. 

Seeing how normal everyone was made me think, 'I can do this.' I have to do this. It's not a choice anymore but a way of life I need to adopt. I want to be the woman on the elliptical planning this weeks dinner menu. I want to be able to take a class and finish the entire thing. Mostly, I want to be one of those people that loves to exercise. Someone who can't go two days without it. I want to experience the high. 

For now, I just need to focus on showing up and not falling off the treadmill.